Home > Just for Discussion. > The New Daily Reminders of Tragic Events.

The New Daily Reminders of Tragic Events.

Road side memorials are becoming a common site along the highways, byways and side streets of America. Recently a news story told of two men removing one that was on private property. These memorials and the men’s actions bring up a slew of questions, facts, and opinions, that will become one of the most heated topics in the country in years to come. This debate will top stem cells, birth rights and many other biggies we have dealt with through out the years.

Some of these topics that have been debated have brought about some very good information to people, so that they to can form their own opinions on the subjects. Some of these have also brought about violence in the past also, which does nothing more than hurt innocent people, damage private property and end up with someone going to jail for a long time. These are the negatives, the things that happen when people stick to their emotional feelings with out looking past their emotions to see and evaluate all the facts involved, so they can make a rational decision and have the tools to debate on the subject their self, rather than to express their opinion with violence or coercion.

When we discuss these soon to be biggies before hand, it seems to have the effect of spreading more information to people who would otherwise just fly in off the cuff waving their emotions without the facts to back what they want the outcome to be and only hurting the cause they are trying to support.

Here at Moneys Tight we will look at issues in this light, see the facts and try to come to law abiding and reasonable decisions on the topics on the table, while still being compassionate to peoples emotions and giving them all the factors we can come up with so they too can make a reasonable decision based on the combination of emotional compassion, facts and law.

Many issues such as the one above have no real correct way of handling them. The subjects start out because of the things we do and create. They change and develop along with the new discoveries that cause it to change. So many of these will never be a final done deal, ever, as they will continue to evolve.

In cases such as these, all we can do is guide these topics without an end. Regulate and control them so they will be on the plus side of being a benefit to man when everything is taken into account. If they start to look as being harmful to the development of mankind, then things would have to change.

There are many facts and factors involved in a the above topic and I hope we hit quite a few. So —-

Should road side memorials of someones death be allowed.

First off where are they placed. They are placed on either public, private or local government owned properties such as roadside property which belongs to the city it is placed in. There are laws governing the use of each one of these land types. Law would have to decide if this use is allowed for the land types involved.

Now one thing I do know for sure is that cemeteries have been around for a long long time. When I grieve over a passed relative, I go to the cemetery to see their grave and not to where they actually died. This has been the custom now in America for many many years. We have developed a routine, for lack of better term, that takes the whole process through the tragic event in steps, that we as grieving relatives participate in along the final journey of the dear departed loved one. Short and to the point the steps are as follows, and correct me if I missed any. The informed close relatives of the person are informed of what has taken place, and there are several routes they take. They in some order, do the following. They go immediately to sit with the dying person or to verify that the person deceased is truely that individual. There may be personal property involved and someone usually finds out where it’s at and picks it up from who is holding it, unless it’s detained for evidence. Phone calls are usually made to the nearest of relatives and they will usually gather some where, maybe at the tragic site itself, immediately to console other loved ones. During this time many people are being called and others are gathering to also be close to each other. Now at some point in this whole process, some who were close will start to take action and plan for what needs to be done. This I can’t cover because there are so many different things done at this point that, it really depends on the circumstances of the tragedy itself. One path I know is common, is that many things get handled at almost the same time in a private location afterwards, with many friends and relatives present. some of these could be calling other relatives, calling a lawyer, some go get food to feed the people who are present, some start to ask questions like did they have a burial plot or a funeral pre-arranged or what were their wishes or did they have a living trust to carry out their wishes or whats going to happen to the kids or where will we stay or who should we call to make arrangements and this is just the tip of the iceberg as far as wondering and asking questions. So now the process goes on with planning and arrangements being made and with the help and input of many people. All is scheduled and the final showings, viewings, and services are told to everyone and they are done before you realize it. Now there are a few ways of final departure, either from the funeral home, or from the cemetery mausoleum or from the actual graveside burial, where final close goodbyes are said and many tears are shed. This is the process, and it is over and final now.

So with a system in place for hundreds of years, as dignified, meaningful and as full of love towards not only the deceased but their family and friends also, how did the need for a roadside memorial come to be, and why doesn’t everyone who looses a loved one to tragedy participate in this newer form of remembering someone who has passed.

Some study would have to be done to reveal in approximation, when the first private memorial honoring someone not known to the public, was set on public property for all to see. As far back as I know, and I have seen this in the movies, people traveling long distances between towns would bury their dead along the route and leave a marker that someone was buried there. This is only similar in one way because the marker is at the burial site and not at the death site. Does the site of death really need to be marked for all to see and know only that someone died there. There is nothing about who it was and even if there is a mural painted and a name given, the only information that people passing by for three seconds will know, is that someone died there. That’s it, done, over, finite, just another blur in the driving distractions of the day. The same as the add tacked to the last electric pole you drove by at 45 miles an hour. Just a blur and then it,s forgotten forever. Not nearly a real monument to the person that reminds everyone how great they were or cast in stone, depicts the person forever for all who wander upon it to read and reflect upon.

The headstone placed at a grave site, has minimal to a lot of information about the person, for all who choose to come and see. Many people remember their departed loved ones in this manner and while they are there they walk around reading some other stones while reflecting back on people who lived before them. It is meant to be the long term memento of our existence on the planet, unless you are famous.

Most people who loose a loved one have some sort of a daily reminder or object that reminds them of the person who passed, and it becomes something special and not to be known to the rest of the world.

Death is about dignity and not the tragedy that happened or where it happened, or when it happened. Those details are better left with family members who really care and not the stranger driving to work.

Memorials are supposed to be a celebration of the persons life time with us here, and they are supposed to represent how great the person was to their family and friends. We buy balloons for the birthday party, we buy stuffed animals for the kids we love, we put pictures and posters on telephone poles to find lost dogs, and we place a very strong, permanent, stone, reminder by someones grave to honor them forever.

This is just a little insight on roadside memorial facts, and it can be continued by you. But I just have one question.

If someone dies a tragic death and no remains are found, don’t most people hold a funeral anyway and still have a grave for the person, with a headstone? Can anyone answer this?


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